Social Capital Is a Career Superpower - Here’s How to Grow Yours
Hey, I’m Merry 👋 I’ve spent the last decade designing learning programs, helping people take their next career steps, and building products that support adult learning - at places like Amazon and TikTok. With a Master’s in Education from Harvard, I’m all about helping people figure out what they’re good at, what they love, and how to build careers that actually fit. This Substack is where I share advice and lessons on navigating the workplace and growing in your career.
Social capital is the invisible hand behind many life-changing opportunities; it’s the people who open doors for you, the advice that comes at just the right time, and the quiet vouching that happens behind the scenes. Perhaps you had a teacher who helped you craft the perfect college essay, or you knew someone whose parent made a call to get them a job. Sometimes it’s a DM that turns into a referral, or a former teammate who gets you in the door at your first job. Whether or not you realized it, you’ve either benefited from social capital yourself or watched others rise because of it.
And it’s not just about who you know. It’s also about what you know because of who you know. It’s the exposure, the behind-the-scenes advice, the early heads-up, the “here’s how this stuff actually works” kind of guidance that makes all the difference.
Some people start with a lot of it. They grew up watching their parents navigate professional settings. They had family friends who shared job openings before they were posted. They knew when to start applying to internships, how to answer interview questions, and how to follow up like a pro - because someone guided them.
If that wasn’t your experience, it can feel like you’re behind. But you’re not. You’ve just been playing the game without the same playbook.
The good news? You can build social capital intentionally, authentically, and without changing who you are. And it starts by building your career support system.
So what is a career support system?
A career support system is made up of people who help you grow - people you can learn from, lean on, and grow with. It might be a mentor who helps you navigate tough decisions, a peer who shares job leads or offers encouragement, or a friend who holds you accountable to the goals you keep saying you’ll get to “someday.” Ultimately, support systems give you access to information, opportunities, feedback, and perspective, which it why it’s so important to have one.
It’s also not about having a huge network. It’s about knowing people and making the effort to nurture those relationships over time. Here are some people/roles that would be useful to have as your career support system:
Peer allies – same level, can vent with, share advice, and grow alongside each other
Accountability buddies – help you set goals and stick to them, share progress with each other
Mentors – more experienced, guide your development, can be someone either at or outside of your organization.
Sponsors – advocate for you behind closed doors (harder to find, but powerful), usually someone at your organization
Community – online or IRL, shared interest or career field
How to start
Building a support system doesn’t require you to be extroverted or ultra-polished. It just requires intention.
Peer Allies/Accountability Buddies
Start by looking around you. A lot of people think building a network means reaching out to someone many steps ahead of them in their career. But some of the most powerful connections are the ones right next to you. A coworker you get along with or admire. A classmate who’s already interning somewhere interesting. A friend of a friend who just landed a role you’re curious about. These are your peer allies, and can also be your accountability buddies, and they’re so valuable (not just now, but long-term as well). What most people don’t realize is that your peers today may be in wildly different positions 5, 10, or 20 years from now. They’ll be the managers, directors, founders, and leaders making decisions. If you’ve built real, human relationships with them early on, they might be the ones opening doors for you later. So, reach out to them and learn about their career interests and journeys so far.
Mentors/Sponsors
Finding a mentor or a sponsor can feel intimidating - maybe you’re afraid that they don’t have the time or they might not be interested. But both mentors and sponsors often emerge organically when you first strike up a conversation, share about your goals, stay curious about their path and work, and build the relationship over time.
A mentor is someone who offers guidance, perspective, and feedback, whether it’s a project that you’re working on or the career path that you want to pursue. They’re there to help you grow. A sponsor, on the other hand, is someone who goes a step further and can use their influence to advocate for you when you’re not in the room. They’re not your direct manager, but they’re the folks who recommend you for stretch assignments, promotions, or other roles that align with your potential. While mentorship is about insight and guidance, sponsorship is about giving you opportunity.
When you’re looking for a mentor, start by thinking about the kind of guidance you actually need. Are you trying to level up in your current role? Pivot to a new field? Grow your confidence? The clearer you are on your needs, the easier it becomes to find someone who’s a good fit. Mentors don’t have to be ten levels above you or someone with a big title. Some of the best mentors are just a few steps ahead; they can be people whose path you admire or who’ve been where you are now. Reach out to them with genuine curiosity. Rather than saying “Will you be my mentor?”, which can feel heavy, ask for a short conversation to learn more about their journey or to get advice on a specific area. If the conversation feels natural, follow up again down the line. Mentorship is often something that evolves, not something that’s formalized after the first conversation.
Sponsors are a little different. A sponsor is typically someone at your organization who’s seen your work firsthand and believes in what you’re capable of. That’s why it’s important to show up consistently and make sure your work impact is visible. Keep key people in the loop on what you’re working on, increase the visibility on the results you’re driving, and the goals you’re reaching toward. You can look for leaders who have a seat at the table, usually people who can influence decision-making and who have a track record of lifting others up. Once you’ve built a relationship with someone like that, you might say something like, “I’m hoping to grow into a more strategic role, and I’d love your advice on how to get there. If any opportunities come up that you think I’d be a good fit for, I’d really appreciate your support.” This kind of openness lets them know you’re looking for support and makes it easier for them to advocate for you when the time comes.
You can’t assign yourself a mentor or a sponsor, but you can show up in ways that attract them. You do this by being curious and thoughtful, doing great work, and sharing your goals.
General tips
Don’t overthink your outreach. You don’t need a persuasive email or a long pitch. Just be curious. You can ask someone about how they got started, compliment something they’ve worked on, or invite them for a quick coffee or a virtual chat. Most people are far more open to connecting than we think. The worst that that can happen is that say ‘no’, and you look for someone else. You can start with the spaces you already belong to. Think networks at work (like Employee Resource Groups), alumni networks, online groups in your industry, or even people on LinkedIn that you haven’t connected with - yet.
And don’t forget the importance of reconnecting afterwards. Reach back out to that person you worked with a year ago, the old classmate you used to study with, or the mentor who gave you advice in college.
Weak ties matter more than you think
Here’s something a lot of people overlook: weak ties can be just as powerful as strong ones.
Research shows that weak ties (the people we don’t talk to all the time, such as former colleagues, a person we met briefly at an event, or a friend from school we lost touch with), are often the ones who lead us to new jobs, unexpected collaborations, or fresh insights.
People who we don’t know as well are good to connect with because they’re in circles that we’re not in. They see opportunities and resources we may never come across otherwise. Your closest people might share similar experiences or connections, but weaker ties can widen your view.
Don’t wait until you “need” something, start building relationships now
One of the most common mistakes people make is waiting until they’re job hunting or burnt out to start reaching out to people. By then, it can feel forced and inauthentic. Instead, do a check-in from time to time with those in your career support system. It can be as simple as, “Hey, how are you doing these days, and what have you been focused on?”. Another way is to share an article that made you think of them or that you think they might enjoy. If you see them sharing a win on LinkedIn, celebrate those wins with them.
You don’t need a mentor in every department, be friends with all the executives, or a list of VIP contacts right now. You just need to be curious, open, and proactive with the people who are around you. And most importantly, you should start now.
The powerful thing about social capital is that it compounds. Meeting just one person can lead to five more. A conversation with a guest speaker might lead to an introduction to someone in their network, which then leads to a job shadow, a mentor, or even a future role. Each new relationship doesn’t just add value; it also opens up entirely new opportunities.
Merry